ANKLE SPANKER 1. n. An extremely long cock. 2. n. A normal sized cock on a man with extremely short legs

BOGG-MESS MONSTER n. A legendary brown beast that curls its body out of the water in at least two places. May be a brown trout or a dead otter.

CLAMOFLAGE n. Thick, impenetrable bush which makes the target impossibly hard to spot at first glance. The pubes on a biffer.

DANGLEBERRIES n. Winnets, excrement adhering to the arse cress around an inefficiently-wiped ringpiece. Fartleberries, toffee strings, bead curtains, kling-ons, clinkers

DEVIL’S KISS n. A fart released during sex in the 69 position. Hell’s mouth

FANTA acronym. A one night stand. **** And Never Touch Again.

FANNY HOPPER 1. n. A two foot diameter inflatable orange vagina with handles at the top. 2. n. A gentleman who hops from one fanny to another. A stickman, a skippy.

GET UP THEM STAIRS v. A gentleman’s instruction to his wife which indicates that he has finished eating, drinking and watching football, and now wishes to retire to the bedroom to make an ungainly and flatulent attempt at sexual intercourse.

NBR abbrev. No Beers Required. A good looking woman. Opposite of a Five Pinter.

SAUSAGE SANDWICH n. A juicy salami frotted between two pink baps, the end result of which is a pearl necklace. Dutch.

ZZ BOTTOM. n. An exceptionally long haired muff, from the resemblance to the beards sported by the rock band ZZ Top. But not the drummer.

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